the "f" word... it's not what you think

First light of day...I love looking out my windows to see the light peeking between the branches of the trees outside.Forest green right outside the window is a great compliment to my brown and sage bedding.all foliage...there's already the slight hint of leaves beginning to to turn.I can't wait!Fran Drescher...her new show, Happily Divorced, is hilarious.Fox News...I'll be keeping a close watch on the Straw Poll in Iowa, although I think its a little premature.Favorites...I could back a Perry/Palin ticket.Stop making that Family...my two older boys plus my adopted son Joshy are in the wilds of Pennsylvania together this weekend.I'm so proud of the bond my boys have with each other.Far away...I wish they weren't so far from Austin, and from me.lorida...Ryan's headed there to work for the next month or so...in Tampa...just as far away, unfortunately.ortunately...it's Saturday and I haveree time...for the next 48 hours...love my weekends!I desperately needed to recharge.razzled...physically...emotionally I'm ine...isn't that what people say when they want to avoid details?"I'm fine, how are you?" and you just ake it.I've been doing a lot of that.I mean, I tell Y'ALL how I eel...but if anyone in real life asks, 99% of the time I say, "I'm fine".I'd rather Forget that my life took this detour...this was not what I had planned for my uture.And at times, this road is lonely but I know I have been blessed with riends...Stacia stopped by to see me last night but I was already sort of fuzzy...close to bedtime.The best friends are the ones who meet you where you are.Have you noticed that?rontierville.Those are my weekend plans.armaceuticals.Ok.I cheated on that one.I know it's spelled "pharmaceuticals" and I have developed such a strong love/hate relationship with them.I'm on a new medication that HAS to be taken twice a day.Up until this point I have resisted daytime meds.I don't want to be the least bit altered at work.However...the cold, harsh reality was thrust upon me in the past week that when I'm in pain, I'm altered.Sadly, any medication that is going to help my pain level is going to have to be maintained in my blood stream.I had to stop fighting reality.My plan was to tough it out during the day and then fall apart in the evenings.The problem is that the things that are wrong with me require more than a part timefix.It's noibromyalgia.It's a dirty word.I didn't want to say it, I didn't want to own and I sure don't want to live with it.That's the real"f" word.